she is a caged bird
her mind is a mess, her eyes are wild
she cannot control her world
she fears even her dreams and her desires
her world, a cage, confuses her
up is down and left is right
Johanna looks for a thing called freedom
she thinks it lives outside the walls
dwelling in the light
she thinks someone must free her
she cannot free herself
her keeper haunts her nights
and lurks among the rooms of her cage
she knows that he will hurt her
someday
someday soon
when will it be?
she fidgets and loses herself in
fantasizing about a future that she is blind to
ahead there is darkness
and she cannot see
so what can she do
but wait for an end?
maybe she'll wait all her life
maybe it comes sooner
she wonders about death
is it better than this?
II.
she is voiceless
in a loud
world
of silence
deafening
III.
Once upon a time Johanna's father held her hand and bought her flowers and her bedroom was full of light
but slowly the light died away like an ugly sunset and faded her room in shades of gray and brown
and her flowers died and one day Johanna was at breakfast and her father did nothing but stare at her across the table in
the strangest way and she excused herself because his eyes worried her but not as much as the way his mouth
looked frightened her and it pulled at her insides with fear she'd never felt before but he kept on looking at her
that way every day as she got older and sometimes he was her old nice father but sometimes it was the bad eyes
that looked at hers and there was no way to stop his eyes and so she tried to hide instead and today
she is still hiding and hoping that her old nice father would come back...
IV.
The green finch is small but quick
the linnet bird is strong despite his size
the nightingale sings grandly
the blackbird used to own the skies
the ring dove coos with caution
the robinet is loud
they all seem flustered by their cages
but cannot find the doors
they feel the sky beyond them
their instincts beg for flight
but endlessly they search for an exit
and worthlessly they sing
and freedom never comes.
They are portents to Johanna,
and although she cannot read
her future in their wings
she feels her present
in their cries
and begs them to tell her how
to survive
not knowing
why she feels
such
fear.
